Life as I know it

Hello Blogosphere!

I would say it’s been a while, but it wouldn’t be entirely true…. I wrote a post about a week ago, but immediately deleted it for fear it didn’t provide an interesting enough topic for a reader. I have since come to the conclusion that it doesn’t matter. Sometimes a blog is just as much for the writer as the reader…

I have been overweight for pretty much my entire life. I love food and would rather spend my time eating then exercising, but it’s been quite a summer and things have changed a little. I began the summer at 203 pounds, for a 5’3 person- that is considered obese.

We started our season the long weekend in May, opening the restaurant and for 2 months it was dead. The entire Village was empty. I finally had staff that weren’t complete boneheads, but nobody was coming in. One of the markets we went to with produce, homemade ice cream and apple cider was the same- SLOOOOOWWWWW.

We got a break at the main market we attend- a bigger stall!!! Income there went up, but the farm stayed same. As did the Village. We did have some people coming in, but I can’t even explain the behavior of some of our guests. Everyone had something to say- ironically enough, never about the quality of food. You don’t have this kind of bread for sale, you have no pickled beets for sale, you should be open later, you have no Coke, is there a kids menu, can I have my pizza with different toppings on every slice? Last year, this was 20 % of people- this year 75%. And the free-range kids (I believe that they consider this naturally raised), we actually had one of these precious gems stick their finger in the ice cream (in the scoop freezer) while the health inspector was in line to buy ice cream, and the mom did nothing. We had to throw out the whole container (about $60 worth).

Through all of this, I did the opposite that I usually do- I stopped eating from stress. It hit me one day that nothing I own fit- my pants wouldn’t stay up without a belt. Turns out I stressed myself out of 30 lbs and didn’t notice.

We ended up closing the restaurant early- mainly because I couldn’t take the people’s BS anymore, and it was too stressful. Matt and I were fighting about everything- what my staff were doing, the temperature of restaurant… and because I was stuck in the barn (restaurant) for 14 to 16 hours a day and too tired to do anything afterwards- even too tired to be nice. Our accountant recommended we close, and I thought it was too much work for the amount we were bringing in.

Mid-summer I bought an adult tricycle – it’s made from a kit, I call it my frankenbike. I LOVE it. It turned out to be my de-stresser, I started out being winded after about 10 minutes of triking- now I go about an hour a day with our youngest dog because he has wayyyy to much energy.

After the initial weight loss, I’ve chosen to finish what I started and lose the last 25 lbs to be healthier, and feel good about myself. As I write this, I have completely blown it today! We ate out and I really didn’t realize what that means until I came home and decifered what that meant as far as calories go…. We were supposed to make Thanksgiving dinner today, but didn’t bother after we got home- I’ve been craving my little chocolate pie I made for dessert, but didn’t eat because supper is tomorrow now, not today. My brain didn’t want to accept that, so I had to eat chocolate and release the demon, so to speak…

So, with a healthier outlook on what I consume- which consists of mainly fruits and vegetables, I am down to 162.8 lbs. 22.8 to go…. I have had a few things to deal with over the course of the past 15 years- depression, IBS, and more recently anxiety & panic attacks- this seem to be a less intense now, I can only assume it’s because of these changes. The stress of running a business is certainly not going anywhere.

Free Range Kitchen is not going to be a diet blog, but it will be relevant to what I am doing in my life and what inspires me. It may even include some stories about our new dog, Henry and the struggle to get Gus to not want to bite him.


3 thoughts on “Life as I know it

  1. great to see you back, freerange

    thank you for your heartful post ~ i can’t imagine running a restaurant and doing farmers’ markets and dealing with employees and having a boyfriend who is also your business partner… wow i’m glad you are slowing down and taking care of yourself.

    i’m no stranger to eating and/or not eating because of stress, and i’m no fan of exercise that isn’t fun or something like stacking wood {i oddly like mindless chores}. thanks for sharing what i know is very personal. good to hear you’re investing time in you, and feeling better about you. i’m always looking for something that’ll do that for me too.

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